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the amazing update windows gave me,0xc0000005

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Ciao,so this is what i deducted happened,i think
at 3 o'clock at night,my laptop updated while i slept like a baby,it updated and failed because it conflicted with my avira antivirus.it then deleted my avira,but since avira is one sturdy guy,it fought back and together they messed up my system(86x btw) now i can't open exe files,all my browsers give me the 0xc0000005 error.except ie,which simply doesn't work(not responding),so no access to the all powerful internet. few things that work are minesweeper and small games which don't require connection. so backgammon doesn't work but solitaire does. also ccleaner works,because people developing ccleaner are the only professionals and through 7 years of using it i've never been unhappy with it so let's all give the creators props for creating this awesomeness. now then microsoft developers don't know crap,i checked.

what i tried:
restarting....around 20 times
safe mode...no progress,same
safe mode with net...no progress,same
updating it...it does the same thing it did that accursed night
then one awesome guy who apparently knows microsoft better than microsoft itself,found a solution of deleting the updates while connection to internet is off and restarting it,apparently it worked for most people....except me,because destiny is so fair...what happened was that i deleted the updates but now they are still on the update list,if i try to delete the entries it tells me they are already uninstalled but the entries are there so microsoft doesn't recognize it needs to redo those.
i am now in search of a win 7 disc but if that doesn't work, if you guys can help me figure out what is the problem, university IT will be forced to fix it for me, now he just says he doesn't know what's wrong so he can't fix it

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Thanks in advance for even trying to help

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